You teach people how to treat you
People will treat you how you allow them to treat you. Sometimes it is not done maliciously. They are just following your lead. If you allow them to use you, when they need something they will. If you are always there for them no matter what you have planned, they will let you drop your plans for them. Are you the on call babysitter...the bank... the driver? Is somebody always calling you with "I need a favor" "Can you let me hold $?" "Can you watch the kids for me?"
It is important that you take a stand. Now! If you know that you have been/or are being used, then you need to put a stop to it. This happens in family relationships, work relationships, love relationships. I see it all the time. I have even been a victim of it too. Sometimes we go along just to be a good sport or to keep down confusion. Sometimes we hope that the behavior will change. Sometimes it will, usually it won't. Because people are used to you being easy going, always there, dependable, not making a fuss. Whatever word you want to use for it. But it is not alright, because you are not alright. Stop suffering in silence. Stop hoping they will change. They won't, unless you put your foot down.
So now, if you have some work to do, then get to it. Let 2020 be your year of change. You know how you want to be treated. Stand up for what you want. If the person is not willing to treat you how you deserve to be treated, then you need to make some changes. Maybe that person does not need to be in your space. If you have been Easygoing Esther, I Got It Irene, Dependable Debbie, it might be a little difficult at first. Because, when you start making changes and saying no, people are going to be a little put out. But stand your ground. I'm not saying turn into a roaring lion and putting everybody in their place and saying no to everything, but just stand up for yourself.
When you start off with a new relationship, set the tone in the beginning, Speak up if something bothers you. Let the other person/people know what works for you and what doesn't. Don't just take any kind of behavior and think things will change later. They won't. What I am saying is have some non-negotiables. Some things that you just won't put up with, and stick to it..
Like I said in the title. We teach people how to treat us.