Photo: Felicia T. Simpson
Last week I had several conversations with women and the overall theme has been lack. Lack of time, lack of money, lack of health, lack of knowledge, lack of love. The list could go on and on. With each conversation, I found myself going between impatience to frustration and then all over again. Usually I had to cut the conversation short because I am not trying to hear that woe is me type of conversation.
Before you start beating up on me and telling me that I am too hard on the people, let me tell you why I feel like I do. The people that I had talked to were stuck in the lack mindset. For whatever reason they seemed to relish being able to say I don't, I can't, I wish, I want...But when it comes time to make the changes needed to make those things happen, they were not ready to do the work.
So that is why I become impatient. Believe me, I have been there. There have been times when I was the one moaning, I don't have, I don't know, etc. But the only difference is I am not willing to stay there. I am not willing to dwell in that frame of mind anymore. It does no good to keep talking about what you don't have. It only makes you sad, mad, depressed, unhappy etc.
My family will laugh at me sometimes because my famous words are..."don't bring that negativity to me. I am manifesting good things in my life and I am not trying to dwell in all of this. I laugh because sometimes they will say it before I do. And I am happy. That means progress is happening with them. That they are listening to what I am sharing.
But I realize that thinking in lack all of the time is a mindset and that a mindset shift needs to happen. For some people it may take some work to change how they feel about things. Years ago I did some mindset work on how I felt about money or the lack thereof. It was something to find out that some of my thoughts around money went back to how my mom felt about money and how my family handled money. A very eye opening assignment. Kudos to my coaches Da-Nay Macklin and Monique Caradine, who both took me through Mindset Mastery assignments which helped me to get rid of my scarcity mindset.
A person who lives trapped in ‘lack mindset’ lives in a fear-based world of never having enough – money, time, connections, attention, rest, health, happiness, credentials, power or love. Their conviction of scarcity distorts and constricts their thinking and can mask talents and skills that are vital to their personal success. Living with a perspective of lack prevents the ability to take risks and cuts off the expectation for happiness and joy in life’s bounty. ("How Lack mentality Holds You Back" John Stamoulos)
So what can you do? See below some of the tips that John shared in his article.
Connect with abundance – Make friends and connections with those who live from a prosperous mindset rather than those who express scarcity consciousness;
Pay attention to your ‘lack’ influences– become aware of what TV you watch, what you read – use positive material to uplift you;
Adopt a positive life perspective– see the opportunity for growth in any life challenge;
Trust that you will have what you need– spend time remembering when you received what you needed (have you ever needed a parking spot in a busy lot and one suddenly appears? Did money show up from an unexpected source just when you needed it?)
Make time for reflection and self-care – use meditation, Breathwork, journaling, and/or therapy to understand, identify and alter your ‘lack’ programming
Embrace the truth that there is more than enough– there is enough for everyone including you;
Whatever you desire, give that to others – donate money to others, spend and give attention to those who are less fortunate;
These are powerful actions to work on your lack mentality. They may not be that easy for you in the beginning, but keep practicing them. Eventually you will feel the change in your thoughts. and you will find that your "lack" mindset is a thing of the past.