It's Okay to Not Be Okay: My Mid-Week Meltdown
Thursday was a day for me ya'll. It was just one of those days. I woke up and you know how they say you woke up on the wrong side of the bed? Well that was me.
I was not my cheery Sally Sunshine Me. I felt overwhelmed, gloomy and just not myself. Usually I jump up at daybreak, chipper and ready to rule the world.
This day I felt like the world was closing in on me. I wonder did I have a dream that I didn't remember that put me in this mood? I don't know. I do know that some things had gone on the last two weeks that were very frustrating. The last straw was when my car started acting up and I had to take it to the Dealership. That is a whole other story. But it was the last straw I think.
I debated on whether I should call off and just push through. But, during my prayer I got all teary and I knew I needed to call off and take care of me. I mean, we have mental health days. So why was I not using one of them right?
A lot of us just keep on going. No matter how we feel, we just keep it pushing. We ignore all of the signs that something is wrong and that we need to relax, sit down, do nothing, regroup. Give ourselves the care and attention that we tend to give to others.
For various reasons we find it hard to take care of ourselves as we need to. We find it easier to ignore and just act like all is well.
That was my first thought. To just get on up and move like all was well.
But then I heard in my spirit. "Just sit still" " Relax in me" "Spend some time with me" "Listen"
So, I texted my boss that I needed a mental health day. Then I put on some praise and worship music and just let the music soothe me. Afterwards I made my favorite peppermint tea and sat out on my balcony. I journaled and read. It was nice out. Not too hot and very peaceful. No people stirring about.
I could feel myself relaxing some. I lit a candle and took a long soothing bath. We have to honor our bodies. Relax our minds.
I decided that I was going to do only what I felt like doing. And only when I felt like doing it. We have to be okay with not being okay sometimes. We have to admit that sometimes we just need to give in to those feelings. Instead of pretending nothing is wrong and moving forward, while inside we feel overwhelmed, fragile and about to explode..
It is not a sign of weakness when you do this. You are doing what you need for you. Doing what you need to build your strength to prepare you for whatever your next activity is.
Stop pretending all is well when it is not. Stop moving forward when it is clear that you need a timeout.
When you get those feelings of overwhelm, frustration, fear (whatever you are experiencing) stop and take the time to take care of you. You are definitely worth it Sis.
I'm so glad I did. I already feel the effects of taking time to love on me. Try it. You won't regret it.
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Photo: Felicia T. Simpson